Let me ask you a silly question: Do you want to be happy?
Of course you do. Who doesn’t want to be happy, right?
“Happy” is a simple word, but given that there are so many unhappy people around, it seems like
happiness is really hard to find.
And, just to be clear, when I say “happiness,” I’m not referring to a temporary emotion. Instead,
I’m referring to something you experience at a much deeper level, even when you don’t feel like
you’re in a very good mood.
So when I say “happiness,” I actually mean “long-lasting fulfillment.”
In recent years, I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of people who
are seeking greater happiness in their lives.
I’ve observed what the unhappiest people do to achieve such extreme levels of unhappiness. It’s
obvious to most people around them that if they simply stopped engaging in certain kinds of
behavior, they would be a lot happier!
Based on my observations, I wrote this e-book that contains a list of 150 things you should not
be doing if you want to find long-term fulfillment.
So if you want your life to be both meaningful and marvelous, please do the opposite of
everything on this list.
As you read through the list, I encourage you to take note of the unhappiness-causing things you
currently do. Focus intensively on correcting just a few things every week, and I’m sure you’ll
find yourself becoming happier in no time!
1. Don’t trust anyone but yourself.
2. Criticize more than you praise.
3. Never say “I’m sorry. It was my fault.”
4. Try to please everyone.
5. Don’t ever say “no.”
6. Take on too much debt.
7. Fail to love and accept yourself completely.
8. Don’t spend any time alone to think and reflect.
9. Fail to plan.
10. Give up on your dreams.
11. Think that it’s too late to dream a new dream.
12. Continually find something to complain about.
13. Continually think about your past mistakes and regrets.
14. Act as if the world owes you something.
15. Don’t commit to a cause greater than yourself.
16. Believe that life is all about you.
17. Focus on adding value to yourself, rather than to others.
18. See life as a competition where there are winners and losers.
19. Blame other people for the way you feel and for the disappointments you experience.
20. Spend several hours a day watching TV or surfing the internet.
21. Refuse to deal with your unresolved relationship issues.
22. Decide that if people don’t share the same view as you, then they must be wrong.
23. Be obsessed about how you’re performing, instead of focusing on whether you’re motivated
by the right purpose.
24. Use threats to get people to do what you want them to.
25. Say unkind things, especially to the people closest to you.
26. Assume that people won’t give you a hand, even before you ask.
27. Don’t speak your mind. Ever.
28. Don’t meet new people.
29. Never say “Good job!”
30. Never say “I’m proud of you.”
31. Sleep too little.
32. Don’t exercise regularly.
33. Eat lots of junk food.
34. Don’t ask for help when you need it.
35. Believe that you can control everything that goes on in your life.
36. Give only so that you can receive.
37. Respond to urgent matters but forget to attend to the important ones.
38. Expect perfection from yourself.
39. Expect perfection from others.
40. Don’t read any books once you leave school.
41. Refuse to change your mind, regardless of the facts.
42. Lie to others.
43. Lie to yourself.
44. Ask “Can I?” more often than you ask “How can I?”
45. Have a lot of clutter in your life.
46. Don’t do things outside of your comfort zone.
47. Decide that there are some fears you’ll never be able to overcome.
48. Pay the price before counting the cost.
49. Make promises you can’t or don’t intend to keep.
50. Always manage to find something about your physical appearance that you hate.
51. Use people and enjoy things, instead of the other way around.
52. Take yourself too seriously.
53. Accept society’s definition of success without asking yourself what true success means to
you.
54. Believe that success is all about luck.
55. Focus on the success outcome instead of the success process.
56. Continually try to climb the ladder faster and more efficiently without first asking yourself,
“Is the ladder leaning against the right wall?”
57. Treat people as if they are a problem for you to solve.
58. Treat people as if they are a project for you to work on.
59. Treat people as if they are merely a path you need to take in order to get where you want to
go.
60. Never think about the things you have to be thankful for.
61. Make decisions based purely on the expected outcome, rather than based on your principles
and values.
62. Believe that you are entitled to a comfortable life.
63. Be obsessed about finding comfort, instead of trying to lead a meaningful life that might also
be uncomfortable.
64. Begin tasks and projects without a specific end in mind.
65. Believe that it’s too expensive to invest in your education.
66. Make decisions based on what you want now, instead of what you want most in the long
run.
67. Say “I can’t change that about myself. That’s just the way I am.”
68. Don’t show a genuine interest in other people’s lives.
69. Don’t celebrate.
70. Belittle others.
71. Belittle yourself.
72. Believe that having more money will solve all of your problems.
73. Treat people with different levels of respect, depending on how “useful” they are to you.
74. Think that everyone around you is dumber than you.
75. Live as though death isn’t a reality.
76. Feel guilty whenever you are relaxing.
77. Have strong opinions about issues that you know little or nothing about.
78. Bottle up your emotions to the point that you feel like exploding.
79. Believe that just because you can do something, you should.
80. Believe that just because you don’t think you can do something, you shouldn’t even try.
81. Use words to describe your situation, rather than to improve or transform it.
82. Worry about what everyone thinks about you.
83. Refuse to forgive the people who have hurt you.
84. Refuse to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made in the past.
85. Find reasons why other people have it so much better than you.
86. Believe that you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dreams.
87. Always be waiting for a “better time” to pursue your dreams. Usually, there’s no better
time than now.
88. Worry about things that are beyond your control.
89. Refuse to see problems as challenging opportunities.
90. Focus on what you know or what you can do, instead of on who you’re becoming.
91. Care more about what you're building or achieving than about the difference you’re
making in the lives of others.
92. Pursue ambition above calling.
93. Focus more on building competence than on building character.
94. Take the beauty of the world around you for granted.
95. Hang out with negative or toxic people.
96. Fail to discipline your emotions.
97. Do things in an attempt to get people to like you.
98. Form partnerships with people who are influential, but whom you neither trust nor
respect.
99. Refuse to share your fears and insecurities with anyone.
100. Believe that things will always work out badly for you.
101. Crush other people’s dreams.
102. Multi-task obsessively and convince yourself that you’re getting more done this way.
103. Do your best only when people are watching you.
104. Never do your best, regardless of whether people are watching you.
105. Allow yourself to “slide” into situations, rather than make deliberate decisions.
106. Keep doing what you’ve always done, but expect different results.
107. Confuse busyness with fruitfulness.
108. Allow yourself to become too emotionally involved in other people’s problems.
109. Make excuses. All the time.
110. Neglect to intentionally invest in the relationships that are most important to you.
111. Allow your thoughts to continually revolve around money, power and status.
112. Try to make other people feel bad about their lives.
113. Decide that you’ve already learned everything you need to know.
114. Be manipulative and scheming.
115. Spend your time in a way that doesn’t reflect your professed priorities.
116. Never do anything spontaneous.
117. Forget that every electronic device has a “power off” button that should be pressed
once in a while.
118. Allow stress and tiredness to become a permanent and overwhelming part of your life.
119. Believe that if everyone else is doing something, it must be the right thing to do.
120. Believe that it’s more important to finish first than it is to finish well.
121. Neglect to set boundaries.
122. Overstep boundaries that you’ve already set.
123. Make important decisions when you’re in an exceptionally emotional state.
124. Never ask for advice.
125. Pretend to ask for advice, when all you actually want is validation for what you’ve
already decided to do.
126. Believe that accomplishing your goals will bring you fulfillment, instead of recognizing
that the journey is where you find fulfillment.
127. Spend way too much money gambling or buying lottery tickets.
128. Frequently say “I can’t wait to…” e.g. “I can’t wait to graduate,” “I can’t wait to get
married,” “I can’t wait to retire.” It can get to a point where this is almost like saying “I
can’t wait to die.”
129. Don’t hold people accountable for the things you expect them to do.
130. Constantly rush from place to place.
131. Resist change in every situation.
132. Believe that having it all will make you happy, just because you currently don’t “have it
all.”
133. Believe that there is such a thing as “having it all.”
134. Talk to yourself more harshly than you talk to anyone else.
135. Forget that you can always choose your attitude, no matter what your circumstances
are.
136. See your job (or any role you have in life) as just a job, instead of as an expression of who
you are.
137. Throw money at problems, instead of throwing “thinking” at them first.
138. Allow money to become your master, when it should really be your servant.
139. Never shake up your routine.
140. Continually feel like you need to prove yourself to others.
141. Wait expectantly for people to disappoint you.
142. Believe that you’re right, every single time.
143. Don’t inject passion into anything you do.
144. Allow the smallest things to frustrate you.
145. Never stand up for what you believe.
146. Don’t ask yourself why you believe what you believe.
147. Rush through your meals instead of enjoying them.
148. Gossip.
149. Believe other people completely whenever they tell you that you don’t have the ability to
do something.
150. Don’t give yourself time to unwind at the end of each day.
Happiness isn’t actually that elusive. In fact, we’re all just one “stop-doing” list away from
attaining it.
I’ll confess that I occasionally still do some of the things on this list, but I’m com mitted to
changing my behavior. I hope you’ll join me on this journey, too!
We can’t give away what we don’t have, which is why we’re meant to find happiness so that we
can share it with others.
So let’s get to work on our happiness.
If not now, then when?
Of course you do. Who doesn’t want to be happy, right?
“Happy” is a simple word, but given that there are so many unhappy people around, it seems like
happiness is really hard to find.
And, just to be clear, when I say “happiness,” I’m not referring to a temporary emotion. Instead,
I’m referring to something you experience at a much deeper level, even when you don’t feel like
you’re in a very good mood.
So when I say “happiness,” I actually mean “long-lasting fulfillment.”
In recent years, I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of people who
are seeking greater happiness in their lives.
I’ve observed what the unhappiest people do to achieve such extreme levels of unhappiness. It’s
obvious to most people around them that if they simply stopped engaging in certain kinds of
behavior, they would be a lot happier!
Based on my observations, I wrote this e-book that contains a list of 150 things you should not
be doing if you want to find long-term fulfillment.
So if you want your life to be both meaningful and marvelous, please do the opposite of
everything on this list.
As you read through the list, I encourage you to take note of the unhappiness-causing things you
currently do. Focus intensively on correcting just a few things every week, and I’m sure you’ll
find yourself becoming happier in no time!
1. Don’t trust anyone but yourself.
2. Criticize more than you praise.
3. Never say “I’m sorry. It was my fault.”
4. Try to please everyone.
5. Don’t ever say “no.”
6. Take on too much debt.
7. Fail to love and accept yourself completely.
8. Don’t spend any time alone to think and reflect.
9. Fail to plan.
10. Give up on your dreams.
11. Think that it’s too late to dream a new dream.
12. Continually find something to complain about.
13. Continually think about your past mistakes and regrets.
14. Act as if the world owes you something.
15. Don’t commit to a cause greater than yourself.
16. Believe that life is all about you.
17. Focus on adding value to yourself, rather than to others.
18. See life as a competition where there are winners and losers.
19. Blame other people for the way you feel and for the disappointments you experience.
20. Spend several hours a day watching TV or surfing the internet.
21. Refuse to deal with your unresolved relationship issues.
22. Decide that if people don’t share the same view as you, then they must be wrong.
23. Be obsessed about how you’re performing, instead of focusing on whether you’re motivated
by the right purpose.
24. Use threats to get people to do what you want them to.
25. Say unkind things, especially to the people closest to you.
26. Assume that people won’t give you a hand, even before you ask.
27. Don’t speak your mind. Ever.
28. Don’t meet new people.
29. Never say “Good job!”
30. Never say “I’m proud of you.”
31. Sleep too little.
32. Don’t exercise regularly.
33. Eat lots of junk food.
34. Don’t ask for help when you need it.
35. Believe that you can control everything that goes on in your life.
36. Give only so that you can receive.
37. Respond to urgent matters but forget to attend to the important ones.
38. Expect perfection from yourself.
39. Expect perfection from others.
40. Don’t read any books once you leave school.
41. Refuse to change your mind, regardless of the facts.
42. Lie to others.
43. Lie to yourself.
44. Ask “Can I?” more often than you ask “How can I?”
45. Have a lot of clutter in your life.
46. Don’t do things outside of your comfort zone.
47. Decide that there are some fears you’ll never be able to overcome.
48. Pay the price before counting the cost.
49. Make promises you can’t or don’t intend to keep.
50. Always manage to find something about your physical appearance that you hate.
51. Use people and enjoy things, instead of the other way around.
52. Take yourself too seriously.
53. Accept society’s definition of success without asking yourself what true success means to
you.
54. Believe that success is all about luck.
55. Focus on the success outcome instead of the success process.
56. Continually try to climb the ladder faster and more efficiently without first asking yourself,
“Is the ladder leaning against the right wall?”
57. Treat people as if they are a problem for you to solve.
58. Treat people as if they are a project for you to work on.
59. Treat people as if they are merely a path you need to take in order to get where you want to
go.
60. Never think about the things you have to be thankful for.
61. Make decisions based purely on the expected outcome, rather than based on your principles
and values.
62. Believe that you are entitled to a comfortable life.
63. Be obsessed about finding comfort, instead of trying to lead a meaningful life that might also
be uncomfortable.
64. Begin tasks and projects without a specific end in mind.
65. Believe that it’s too expensive to invest in your education.
66. Make decisions based on what you want now, instead of what you want most in the long
run.
67. Say “I can’t change that about myself. That’s just the way I am.”
68. Don’t show a genuine interest in other people’s lives.
69. Don’t celebrate.
70. Belittle others.
71. Belittle yourself.
72. Believe that having more money will solve all of your problems.
73. Treat people with different levels of respect, depending on how “useful” they are to you.
74. Think that everyone around you is dumber than you.
75. Live as though death isn’t a reality.
76. Feel guilty whenever you are relaxing.
77. Have strong opinions about issues that you know little or nothing about.
78. Bottle up your emotions to the point that you feel like exploding.
79. Believe that just because you can do something, you should.
80. Believe that just because you don’t think you can do something, you shouldn’t even try.
81. Use words to describe your situation, rather than to improve or transform it.
82. Worry about what everyone thinks about you.
83. Refuse to forgive the people who have hurt you.
84. Refuse to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made in the past.
85. Find reasons why other people have it so much better than you.
86. Believe that you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dreams.
87. Always be waiting for a “better time” to pursue your dreams. Usually, there’s no better
time than now.
88. Worry about things that are beyond your control.
89. Refuse to see problems as challenging opportunities.
90. Focus on what you know or what you can do, instead of on who you’re becoming.
91. Care more about what you're building or achieving than about the difference you’re
making in the lives of others.
92. Pursue ambition above calling.
93. Focus more on building competence than on building character.
94. Take the beauty of the world around you for granted.
95. Hang out with negative or toxic people.
96. Fail to discipline your emotions.
97. Do things in an attempt to get people to like you.
98. Form partnerships with people who are influential, but whom you neither trust nor
respect.
99. Refuse to share your fears and insecurities with anyone.
100. Believe that things will always work out badly for you.
101. Crush other people’s dreams.
102. Multi-task obsessively and convince yourself that you’re getting more done this way.
103. Do your best only when people are watching you.
104. Never do your best, regardless of whether people are watching you.
105. Allow yourself to “slide” into situations, rather than make deliberate decisions.
106. Keep doing what you’ve always done, but expect different results.
107. Confuse busyness with fruitfulness.
108. Allow yourself to become too emotionally involved in other people’s problems.
109. Make excuses. All the time.
110. Neglect to intentionally invest in the relationships that are most important to you.
111. Allow your thoughts to continually revolve around money, power and status.
112. Try to make other people feel bad about their lives.
113. Decide that you’ve already learned everything you need to know.
114. Be manipulative and scheming.
115. Spend your time in a way that doesn’t reflect your professed priorities.
116. Never do anything spontaneous.
117. Forget that every electronic device has a “power off” button that should be pressed
once in a while.
118. Allow stress and tiredness to become a permanent and overwhelming part of your life.
119. Believe that if everyone else is doing something, it must be the right thing to do.
120. Believe that it’s more important to finish first than it is to finish well.
121. Neglect to set boundaries.
122. Overstep boundaries that you’ve already set.
123. Make important decisions when you’re in an exceptionally emotional state.
124. Never ask for advice.
125. Pretend to ask for advice, when all you actually want is validation for what you’ve
already decided to do.
126. Believe that accomplishing your goals will bring you fulfillment, instead of recognizing
that the journey is where you find fulfillment.
127. Spend way too much money gambling or buying lottery tickets.
128. Frequently say “I can’t wait to…” e.g. “I can’t wait to graduate,” “I can’t wait to get
married,” “I can’t wait to retire.” It can get to a point where this is almost like saying “I
can’t wait to die.”
129. Don’t hold people accountable for the things you expect them to do.
130. Constantly rush from place to place.
131. Resist change in every situation.
132. Believe that having it all will make you happy, just because you currently don’t “have it
all.”
133. Believe that there is such a thing as “having it all.”
134. Talk to yourself more harshly than you talk to anyone else.
135. Forget that you can always choose your attitude, no matter what your circumstances
are.
136. See your job (or any role you have in life) as just a job, instead of as an expression of who
you are.
137. Throw money at problems, instead of throwing “thinking” at them first.
138. Allow money to become your master, when it should really be your servant.
139. Never shake up your routine.
140. Continually feel like you need to prove yourself to others.
141. Wait expectantly for people to disappoint you.
142. Believe that you’re right, every single time.
143. Don’t inject passion into anything you do.
144. Allow the smallest things to frustrate you.
145. Never stand up for what you believe.
146. Don’t ask yourself why you believe what you believe.
147. Rush through your meals instead of enjoying them.
148. Gossip.
149. Believe other people completely whenever they tell you that you don’t have the ability to
do something.
150. Don’t give yourself time to unwind at the end of each day.
Happiness isn’t actually that elusive. In fact, we’re all just one “stop-doing” list away from
attaining it.
I’ll confess that I occasionally still do some of the things on this list, but I’m com mitted to
changing my behavior. I hope you’ll join me on this journey, too!
We can’t give away what we don’t have, which is why we’re meant to find happiness so that we
can share it with others.
So let’s get to work on our happiness.
If not now, then when?
